Forward this blog to 10 people or your head will fall off

When I was a kid, I remember my mom being patient, loving, and fun. She would make Chef Boyardee pizzas in the shape of a whale or a big foot. She would always sing in the car even if she did not know the words. My siblings and I were not angels, so she could show us her no nonsense side, too.  There is one thing that sticks out in my memory. Something that would change her into a cranky, annoyed woman I barely recognized: chain letters. She would open an envelope, start reading, and then her face would scrunch up. I'd ask what her letter said. With her mouth still all puckered up and pissed off, she would tell me how she hated chain letters. Why would someone take the time to write this and mail it out, and then say bad things would happened if the chain was broken? The letter would go in the trash, and I think she secretly wished she could analyze the handwriting to figure out who sent it. Then, chain letters turned into chain emails. Now, Facebook has chain posts. There are chain text messages. Let me tell you right now, do not send those to her (or me, must be genetic), because that chain will end.

The reason I thought of this was because the other night, my daughters went to bed. I told them they could play on their iPads for a little while before lights out. My nine year old walks into my bedroom about ten minutes later. She has tears in her eyes. My husband and I both asked what was wrong. She says, "I got a text that said if I sent it to 10 people I would have good luck. If I didn't, bad things would start happening. I just now saw the message, but it was sent to me three hours ago..." We pulled her up in between us. Ok, it was hard not to laugh, but she really thought the fate of the world was in her hands. I hugged her and explained that those are just words and a total waste of time. The friend who sent it meant no harm and was just playing along, so I am not upset it happened. I explained to her that these kind of things have been around forever, and I told her how her Nana could not stand it when she would get one. Pretty sure I even scrunched up my face and did my best annoyed-Nana imitation. It did not take long to convince her that she was not responsible for any bad things happening if she broke the chain. A big hug and a kiss later, she was smiling and heading back to bed.

I think the reason this is still on my mind several days later is because of the concern she had on her face. She genuinely felt it was her job to save those doomed to suffer from a broken chain message. With everything flying at our kids today, we forget we are not the only influence they take to heart. Make sure your children, and even yourself, know that they are not the keeper of other people's fate. I want my girls to know they are in charge of their direction in life, and others have to make their own decision on how to make good luck or bad things happen. Don't blame that flat tire or bad haircut on the fact you did not forward that email to 10 people. That's karma, and that I do believe in.

To my mommy, mom/mommy, mom, mom/friend

Everyone has a mother.  Don't get all technical or start talking about weird sea creatures that change gender to fertilize themselves. We all have a woman that carried us in her body until the time of our birth. I often say I forget that not all moms are like mine. Not only has she nurtured me and my three siblings and watched us grow, we have done the same with her. As an adult, you can turn around and look at your mom and see how she has changed throughout your life. She starts out as your mommy. She feeds you, dresses you, bathes you, changes your diaper, comforts you when you cry, and corrects you when you make mistakes. Before you know it, she's a mom/mommy whom has taught you to feed and dress yourself, tells you to go take a shower, hopes some of those corrections are leading you in the right way, and she still comforts you when you cry but is teaching you how to deal with life. Then, she is a mom. She hopes of you are eating healthy. She hopes your clothes are appropriate, tasteful, and that you look great in them. She no longer has to tell you to shower because you are a responsible adult that learned body odor gets you nowhere. Corrections give way to her being supportive of your decisions even when you can see on her face what she really thinks. She is still there to comfort you when you cry, but you don't always come to her first anymore. Then, you come to a point where she is still your mom, but now she is more a mom/friend. You take her to lunch. You compliment her outfits when she looks great. You never tell her to go wash up because she looks so put together. You give each other advice and value what the other thinks. Sometimes, you get to be the one that comforts her when she cries. Getting to that point in your life solidifies that she did her job, and she did it better than anyone could have done.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my sisters (who are also amazing moms), my friends (cool moms), and all the other positive, strong women in my life who treated me like they were my mom at some point in my life. I love you all so much.