Forward this blog to 10 people or your head will fall off

When I was a kid, I remember my mom being patient, loving, and fun. She would make Chef Boyardee pizzas in the shape of a whale or a big foot. She would always sing in the car even if she did not know the words. My siblings and I were not angels, so she could show us her no nonsense side, too.  There is one thing that sticks out in my memory. Something that would change her into a cranky, annoyed woman I barely recognized: chain letters. She would open an envelope, start reading, and then her face would scrunch up. I'd ask what her letter said. With her mouth still all puckered up and pissed off, she would tell me how she hated chain letters. Why would someone take the time to write this and mail it out, and then say bad things would happened if the chain was broken? The letter would go in the trash, and I think she secretly wished she could analyze the handwriting to figure out who sent it. Then, chain letters turned into chain emails. Now, Facebook has chain posts. There are chain text messages. Let me tell you right now, do not send those to her (or me, must be genetic), because that chain will end.

The reason I thought of this was because the other night, my daughters went to bed. I told them they could play on their iPads for a little while before lights out. My nine year old walks into my bedroom about ten minutes later. She has tears in her eyes. My husband and I both asked what was wrong. She says, "I got a text that said if I sent it to 10 people I would have good luck. If I didn't, bad things would start happening. I just now saw the message, but it was sent to me three hours ago..." We pulled her up in between us. Ok, it was hard not to laugh, but she really thought the fate of the world was in her hands. I hugged her and explained that those are just words and a total waste of time. The friend who sent it meant no harm and was just playing along, so I am not upset it happened. I explained to her that these kind of things have been around forever, and I told her how her Nana could not stand it when she would get one. Pretty sure I even scrunched up my face and did my best annoyed-Nana imitation. It did not take long to convince her that she was not responsible for any bad things happening if she broke the chain. A big hug and a kiss later, she was smiling and heading back to bed.

I think the reason this is still on my mind several days later is because of the concern she had on her face. She genuinely felt it was her job to save those doomed to suffer from a broken chain message. With everything flying at our kids today, we forget we are not the only influence they take to heart. Make sure your children, and even yourself, know that they are not the keeper of other people's fate. I want my girls to know they are in charge of their direction in life, and others have to make their own decision on how to make good luck or bad things happen. Don't blame that flat tire or bad haircut on the fact you did not forward that email to 10 people. That's karma, and that I do believe in.

To my mommy, mom/mommy, mom, mom/friend

Everyone has a mother.  Don't get all technical or start talking about weird sea creatures that change gender to fertilize themselves. We all have a woman that carried us in her body until the time of our birth. I often say I forget that not all moms are like mine. Not only has she nurtured me and my three siblings and watched us grow, we have done the same with her. As an adult, you can turn around and look at your mom and see how she has changed throughout your life. She starts out as your mommy. She feeds you, dresses you, bathes you, changes your diaper, comforts you when you cry, and corrects you when you make mistakes. Before you know it, she's a mom/mommy whom has taught you to feed and dress yourself, tells you to go take a shower, hopes some of those corrections are leading you in the right way, and she still comforts you when you cry but is teaching you how to deal with life. Then, she is a mom. She hopes of you are eating healthy. She hopes your clothes are appropriate, tasteful, and that you look great in them. She no longer has to tell you to shower because you are a responsible adult that learned body odor gets you nowhere. Corrections give way to her being supportive of your decisions even when you can see on her face what she really thinks. She is still there to comfort you when you cry, but you don't always come to her first anymore. Then, you come to a point where she is still your mom, but now she is more a mom/friend. You take her to lunch. You compliment her outfits when she looks great. You never tell her to go wash up because she looks so put together. You give each other advice and value what the other thinks. Sometimes, you get to be the one that comforts her when she cries. Getting to that point in your life solidifies that she did her job, and she did it better than anyone could have done.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my sisters (who are also amazing moms), my friends (cool moms), and all the other positive, strong women in my life who treated me like they were my mom at some point in my life. I love you all so much.

Time flies when you're having cancer

A friend reminded me tonight that I had/have a blog. I actually started it January 2, 2013. My last post was in October 2013. I am not sure why I quit blogging. Maybe because everyone started blogging. Maybe because I could not make money from the comforts of my couch blogging. But, my friend posted one of my old blogs to her Facebook wall tonight. I read it, and I will humbly say I enjoyed it. If there has ever been a year to chronicle my life, 2014 should have been it. I thought 2012 sucked! We had no idea where things were headed...

If you look at my Facebook page for 2014, it looks a bit schizophrenic. From January to mid-May, it looks like one person's life, then it looks like another personality took over. The posts are different. Some of the people in the pictures are transformed into unfamiliar faces (that would be me). And, there are more pictures with a hospital for a backdrop than an episode of, "ER." So, let me begin.

May 9th, 2014, a lovely Friday evening, and I was meeting up with a group of people from high school. We were having a pre-class reunion, "meeting," since our 25th reunion was that summer. We had drinks, got reacquainted with those we had not seen for years, and had a nice time. We said our good-byes, and planned to meet up again before the reunion. That was one of the last normal days in my life. I woke up the next day, and had this sore in my mouth. It hurt like hell, and I could not figure out where it came from. Every day from that day on, something new happened. I would feel like I was getting a cold. I was feeling more fatigued every day. I would find bruises on my arms and legs and have no idea where they were coming from.  Horrible sinus congestion and drainage, body aches, and then the low grade fever started. By Wednesday, I was in bed battling some virus. I went to a Minute Clinic on Saturday. They started me on an antibiotic and told me to call my doctor on Monday if I did not feel better. My best friend called Monday. "You need to go to the ER." I said, "I've already talked to my doc. They are going to see me at the end of the day." She was not happy I was waiting. Two minutes later, my husband comes into the room and says, "We need to take you to the ER." I looked at him and said, "BFF just called you to take me to the ER, didn't she?" He said yes. I insisted I shower first (it had been five days), so my husband stood at the bathroom door to make sure I did not fall. If he had not been there, I would have collapsed.

A trip to Community South's ER turned out much differently than I expected. We checked in and were quickly brought to triage (not a lot of action in the ER on a Monday at 1:00 pm). Then you see the first concerned, confused, twisted-up face of the day as they are looking at your vitals. I had a CT scan, peed in a few cups, and lots of blood taken. A nurse finally comes in and says my blood counts are very abnormal.  She read me the results, and we just stared at each other. That, "I know that you know that I know these are really bad results," look. She said the doctor would be right in.  My husband asks, "Do they think you have an infection in your blood?" I just looked at him and said, "No, they think I have leukemia." They were correct. The oncologist said I had acute myeloid leukemia. No biopsy required; the abnormal cells were clearly seen on the microscope. I was instructed to go home, eat dinner, and pack a bag. The cancer floor at another local hospital would have my room ready tonight, and I would be gone about a month.

I'm going to stop at this point because there is a lot more to say. However, if you have read any of my other blog posts, you will recognize my reference to a very large thing that picks you up, spins you around, and drops you on your face. I guess it happens more than once.