Only Family Gets the Food!

This week, we sadly laid to rest my great-aunt.  She was 97 years old, born in Scotland, and was sharp as a pin until the end.  She could talk about politics, sports, and movies, and she possessed a cosmopolitan energy that made you feel inspired.  My favorite question was when she asked me, "Amy, do you watch, 'The Sopranos'?"  Most people would be surprised to hear my Aunt Minnie, at the age of 83 when the series began, was following a show on HBO about a mafia crime family.  How many times per show did they drop the F-bomb or shoot someone in the head?  If you knew Aunt Minnie, it was not a shock.  ("Ooooo, I love that Tony Soprano!  He's so bad!")  My daughters referred to her as, "that little grandma lady who isn't actually our grandma."  She was a strong, feisty woman that will be missed by her family and loved ones. 

Family provides security, a support system, laughter and tears, and a sense of belonging.  Those of us lucky enough to be raised in my immediate and extended family know we give each other every one of these things.  We have also provided each other with not only aunts, uncles, and cousins, but also friends, role models, and partners-in-crime.  We should always be there to build each other up, to give constructive criticism, and to help when we can.  Our family wants only the best for each other, so if a comment or suggestion seems hurtful, we need to realize that maybe they are trying to show us something we do not want to see.  Harmful words and grudges have no place in our family tree.  Our roots are planted in love and our branches reach to Heaven.  Every time I am in the same room as my kin, I want to lock the doors and keep everyone close.  Part of me is six years old, remembering my siblings and cousins (eight of us, in all) playing in the spare bedroom at our grandparents' house.  Were we really all little enough to fit in that room at one time?  There were no expensive toys to play with, and we had the best time together that all I remember is the laughter.

Being, "family," does have its privileges, too. We get to joke with each other about things that an outsider would get punched in the face for bringing up in conversation.  There is a protective bond that holds us tight to each other.  Constructive criticism is at times given too freely because we think the underlying love will convey the underlying message of concern.  Regardless of the delivery, if the intent is positive and well intended, it will show...eventually.  Family - you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.  If you piss 'em off, you're out of the will!

AND, according to my daughters, I learned of another, "privilege," that comes from being family:

A few months ago, my best friend lost her grandmother.  My daughters and I had been at the funeral home for about twenty minutes.  My nine year old came up to me and said, "Mom, there is food here!  Can we eat?"  I replied, "No, sweetie.  That food is for the family."  This week, I informed the girls that Aunt Minnie had passed away.  They were sad and said they would miss her very much.  The following day, my girls asked, "So, Aunt Minnie was family, right?"  Thinking they wanted a mini-geneology lesson, I explained how they were related to Aunt Minnie.  Their faces lit up and they said, "So, if there is food there, we get to eat it?!?!"  All I could do was laugh and say, "Yes, girls, you can because we are family."

God bless Aunt Minnie. May she be reunited with her dear husband, my sweet Uncle Harry.