Homecoming, class reunions, and beer

Last week, I went to the Homecoming game at my high school.  I graduated from a small, Catholic high school in Indianapolis 24 years ago.  I have not been back for a football game in 23 years.  My class' big 25th reunion is next year, so me and some friends decided we would take part in this year's activities.  My close friends and I can go anywhere and have a great time.  Watching a football game in the crisp September air under the lights, running into old classmates and teachers, going to a bar afterwards for some beers; this was all I expected, and that was fine.  That was fine because that was exactly what I got.

Sitting in the stands at the game was a bit surreal.  It was the first time I sat in those bleachers as a real adult.  I watched the young kids, from grade school to high school age, cheering for the home team, walking around and laughing with their faces painted, and seeing who could wear the most wacky outfit to the game for attention (it's usually some guy who is a sophomore or junior).  I remembered that feeling of independence and safety walking around the high school football game:  your parents let you walk around without them (independence), but you were constantly surrounded by other students, teachers, and parents you knew (safety).  It was great to see this tradition continue, and I hope it is still there when my daughters are older.

While sitting in those bleachers, I saw my old French teacher.  I could not believe how great it was to run into her.  She was always one of my favorites.  I had no problem recognizing her because I swear she has not changed a bit.  Amazingly, she remembered me, too.  We hugged and laughed and I told her how she is an awesome teacher, and I hope she is still there when my daughters are older.

After the game each year, a local bar sets up a tent in the parking lot.  It is the official, "old peoples' homecoming."  There is a band, beer, and the largest group of alums I have seen.  A lot of people have no desire to go back in time.  They do not want to keep in touch with classmates.  They have no desire to go to class reunions.  They think, "If I did not talk to those people in high school, why would I want to talk to them now?"  Why?  I'll tell you why.  People change.  Maybe not all people, but most people.  I am not denying that there feels like there is a, "class system," in place in high school.   But, we all grow and learn about ourselves, and there comes a time when we let others see more of who we are.  We then find that the parts we never saw are the ones that make us alike.  The shy kids are more confident.  The confident kids are more humble.  Remember the star basketball player? He has a son who cannot throw a free throw. The really smart girl in class?  Has a child with severe learning disabilities.   The nerd that no one really paid much attention to?  She is running a successful business, married a pilot, and has a daughter that is president of her class.  The playing field is leveled and now you do not know which class people belong to.  I like that.

Time has an amazing ability to chisel away parts of people.  Sometimes the parts are there to protect that fragile girl that has not built up her own self esteem.  Sometimes the parts are huge, attention getting accolades that the star athlete earns.  There are the nerds, the sluts, the punks and goths, the class clowns, the brains, and the numerous kids that can float between the groups.  The chisel reveals, after 20 or so years (time works slowly), that we are not all that different.  The, "us," in high school was a scared, less confident, and usually insecure teenager.  We find our niche, our safety zones, and we stay close to that comfortable feeling of friends we have a lot in common with.  Those with children, especially teenagers, of their own probably see this more clearly.  You are happy that your child gets decent grades, has some good friends, and gets involved with extracurricular activities.  We only see our kids with the ones they spend their free time with.  I think it is important to make sure they know that they do not have to be best friends with everyone, but they need to be kind and respectful to everyone.  They will not be able to fathom the thought that 20 years will go by and when the chisel drops to the ground, what will others see?  If they promote kindness, humor, fairness, and friendship, they will have someone come up to them one day and say, "I always liked sitting by you in biology class," or, "You always seemed confident in yourself.  I admired that about you."  People are not all that different from each other.

Oh, and beer can help a lot.  There is no denying that it lowers the inhibitions and raises your confidence.  I shared a beer with quite a diverse group on homecoming night:  head bangers, football stars, cheerleaders, basketball players, band members, sluts, and nerds.  What I discovered is that we all have become the adults that can float between the groups.  That is a good thing.