Awww, shit....not again!!!

My birthday is this week.  I am not writing a post about my birthday so everyone will send me well wishes.  Some people like their birthday. Other people love their birthday and believe it should be a national holiday.  After I reached a certain age, I began to loathe my birthday.  I still love Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, my childrens' birthdays, and I even enjoy Halloween.  It was probably once I hit 40 where I really embraced the idea of, "O.k., the birthdays can stop now."  Is it because I feel old?  Is it because I know I will never have to show my ID to prove I am of legal age to drive, vote, or buy alcohol?  Is it because birthdays just are not as fun as the number goes up and up?  Yes.

One of my best friends, Cee, has a grandmother who will be 99 years old within the next month or two. One of our other friends, Kay, is so excited about this.  She wants Cee's grandma to make it to next year's birthday so she can hit the big 100.  Kay wants to see Cee's grandmother on the Today show, hear Willard Scott send her birthday wishes, and see her face on a jar of Smuckers with the other centenarians.  When we were all at dinner a few months ago having this conversation, I looked at my friend, Aye.  I said, "If we live to be 80, can we start smoking again?"  Aye said, "Hell, yes, we can."  Kay asked, "Don't you want to live to be 100?"  In perfect unison, Cee, Aye, and myself all responded, "No!"  Kay was shocked.  She could not understand why not.  As Cee explained, her grandmother is not in the assisted living part of the nursing home.  Her grandmother has lived a long, hard, productive life.  She raised her children and helped raise a few grandchildren.  She worked as a nurse and took care of others.  There are days that she is not quite sure who is visiting her or how old her own children are.  Someone in her family visits her almost every day, but I see in Cee's face that it is difficult to see the transformation from the grandma she was to the grandma she is.  Cee and her family have nothing but love and respect for this woman, but as Cee said, "If I get that old, please Smucker me to death."

People say, "age is just a number," and, "you're only as old as you feel."  Well, by the end of the week, my number will be higher, and I doubt I will feel younger.  I will enjoy my birthday dinner with my husband and daughters.  I will enjoy reading the cards I will find in my mailbox.  Will I be happy about being one year closer to appearing on the Today show?  Will I look in the mirror and say, "Damn, I love being 42!"  No.

There are also lots of people who try to lie about their age.  If you follow my blog, you know I wrote an entire post on the topic of lying ("sniff, sniff...I Smell Pants on Fire").  Women are notorious for lying about their age.  However, they are doing it all wrong.  A woman will normally lie and tell people she is younger than she really is.  I am going to lie and tell people I am 20 years older.  Why?  Because I know I can't convince anyone that I am 22 years old, but I might be able to convince someone I look really good for 62.