My children are truly fascinating

The title of this post says it all.  My children are fascinating.  I didn't say they were always well behaved.  I didn't say they were angels.  I'm not sure if they even like me some days.  But, "fascinating," is the word I use to describe them.  Let's get literal for a moment:

• FASCINATING : extremely interesting or charming (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Anyone who knows my girls will agree that this is the perfect one-word description of them both.  Some might think that it is too big or extravagant an adjective to describe a seven- and a nine-year old.  Take my word for it, they can live up to the hype.  

My daughters are both smart, adorable, witty, beautiful girls.  They seem to have some type of athletic ability.  They each possess a level of caring and nurturing that I usually see them direct towards younger children and animals.  The fascinating part has nothing to do with these characteristics.  The "fascinating" is all about these:

1. My seven-year-old ("R") has not changed her eating habits since she was four weeks old.  As long as she eats every two to four hours, she will sleep through the night.
2. My nine-year-old ("P") has the ability to completely strip down in just two motions.  The first time I discovered this talent, I had walked into her room after she changed clothes.  It appeared that someone had thrown a bucket of water on her and she melted into the floor.  Her sweatshirt, t-shirt, and undershirt were still layered together and in one pile.  Her skirt, leggings, and socks were all still in one piece like someone was still in them in another pile.  When I do her laundry, I'm not just washing items, I am washing outfits  because they are still together.
3. "P" learned to properly use the term, "Son of a bitch," in context when she was five-years old.
4. "R" has an amazing knowledge of modern medicine.  After my liver resection surgery, I lost quite a bit of weight.  She said to me that my pajamas were too big because, "You had your surgery, and they took out some of your fat."
5. Both my girls can remember the exact number of times the other one has gotten a treat or special treatment.  It's like an amazing Rain Man way of keeping score.
6. Every emotion that the human body can experience, my daughters can have each and every one of these before lunch on any given day.
7. Their eyesight must have an X-ray-like ability.  Dirty clothes and misplaced toys are invisible to them.
8. At times, it is like my voice does not register in their ears.  Maybe they only hear frequencies reserved for dogs and radar equipment?  Perhaps they are listening to far away cries for help?  I am sure that must be it.

I could go on and on, but sometimes just talking about how fascinating they are is utterly exhausting.  Imagine how tiring it is to live with them!  Whew!  I don't know how I do it some days.